Kylie At The O2: Promises Broken, Dreams Fulfilled

Originally posted on General Musings of an Idiot.

I’m sat typing feeling very summery. The sun has just set, there’s cider flowing, and I’m wearing my pinstriped-blue Hollister shirt, tucked into my new chinos with plaited belt. Just thought I’d share.

So, last night, Isobel and I finally got to see Miss Kylie Minogue at the O2 Arena, in London. But it wasn’t without plenty of drama.

We tried to get tickets in the original ballot, in September, with no luck. We nearly got tickets in the second ballot, but Isobel ran out of time on the Ticketmaster page, and it froze her out. Then we did get tickets, through Viagogo, on New Year’s Day – a late Christmas present to myself. At £85 a ticket, it was a steep asking price, but worth it to see Kylie. Risky, going through a third party, but nevertheless, we trusted them.

Fast forward three months, and on the 28th March, our tickets were on their way, and on a UPS van somewhere. Or were they?

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After a week, the tickets were still at the Tamworth depot. We got in touch, and it turns out they were probably stuck down the side of a transit belt. Simple, you’d think. But oh no, not to UPS. They wanted to do a full physical search, which would take eight business days. Eight. How does it even take you that long to look down the side of a belt?!

So I persisted, but so did they. At the rate we were going, there was no way we would be able to go, seeing as the tickets weren’t ‘showing up on their system’. Despite speaking to several people at UPS – all as useless as the last – we had to give up.

But the legends at Viagogo managed to get hold of two replacement tickets for us. After 25 emails, four hours’ worth of premium phone number phone calls, and four endless days of worrying, we got our tickets.

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And what a night it was. Having said the same in my Elbow post, this trumps it – best gig I’ve ever been to. We stood six deep from the stage, and were 20ft away from the goddess that is Kylie. Every song was just brilliant – I didn’t see a single person who didn’t smile during the whole of the gig. She was on a good two-and-a-half hours, and it just oozed gay. Not in a bad way – the people there last night were some of the kindest, sweetest people I’ve ever met. But bloody hell, it was Dale Winton’s wet dream.

I have never seen so many men with fake tans, peroxide blonde hair and low-cut vests. I’ve also never seen so many women let loose in one place. But we were all there, even the old people with sticks, the people who’d flown over from different countries, and the people who were trapped against the railings cos they sprinted in to see their idol, to see Kylie – the person who appeals to all.

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But, as was the talking point with everyone before the show began, what the hell was Kylie doing choosing the Ultra Girls as her support?! Utter drivel. One of them was flat, and one was gobby. And they were pretty much cheered off. One bloke just heckled ‘See ya!’ as they went off. That was the Ultra Girls for you. But really, they were God awful. Never go and waste your money seeing them.

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But go spend your money seeing Kylie. There’s still tickets available for Monday and Tuesday night’s shows at the O2. You won’t regret it. She flies above you, she sprays water at you, and she throws a carnival. Oh, and there’s minotaurs, Greek goddesses, and a fella with bad bowels. Well, there was near me anyway.

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You’ll see my very blurry photos throughout this post, and there are a few videos at the bottom for you to enjoy. There’s the rock version of ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’, the mash-up of ‘Love At First Sight’ and ‘Can’t Beat The Feeling’, and a very quick video showing the fountains during ‘On A Night Like This’. And I mean very quick. But it was one of the best nights of my life – the atmosphere was just incredible.

And I’m still fierce and feeling mighty. I’m also a golden boy, and an Aphrodite. Alright?

It’s my new comeback. I’m gonna use it in another email to UPS.

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